You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. Women go right on cooking.". We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . to the New York Police Department. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. different scenarios on retirement income. 41. Humorous quotes and messages. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? You're a free person! "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. I dont feel anything until noon. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. The job you waited for for 50 years! There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. We go. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." Before you spend, earn. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? 34. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. From the movie: Judge Dredd. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. 33. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. 24. Before you die, give. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . Required fields are marked *. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. We wish you the best retirement possible. Take us with you! Patrick Foley. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! 47. 500 matching entries found. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Because it runs through your jeans. Among other things, NewRetirement Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you Two rounds a day are plenty. 19. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Keep in touch . Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. - Jonathan Clements. May we live up to your example. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. forget that the highest appreciation is not J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. There was no other cop on the beat. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Are you married to a police officer? Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. 39. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. It is the beginning of the open highway." Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". You cant win until you do this. If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. What are riot police in Germany called? Take Without Forgetting. Peter Lynch. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. 52. 3. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Hello, time. Unknown, We no longer follow traditional retirement models. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Connect with peers and experts, About 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. vision, and trust you instill in us! Retirement's the most wonderful thing. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." The world needs more police officers like you. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." What did the police officer say to the hand? Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Everywhere I touch it hurts.". 26. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? "You will be alone. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Police officers: Commemorate your coworker's strength, courage and bravery with a personalized police retirement gift. "It's your turn. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." What are the four food groups for cops? We, your Friends and Brothers, Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. We tell 'em to get a life." Here it is, she said. Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. for the rest of the department. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Leave the Relaxing to Her! 31. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price So increasingly will be peace. Police retirement is something special. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. May you enjoy your retirement! The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Wishing you a happy retirement! "Half our life is spent trying to find . Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. 32. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. 2. 55. 10. Dishes. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? I call it bliss. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. - Unknown. Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.

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